blah

basically birthday 08 sucked.

its the first time in my entire fucking life i am birthdaycakeless on my birthday.

i know its not a big deal and i sound damn stupid.

but wtf???

twenty plus two

why am i home alone on my bday?
why didnt the girls call me?
why is it that only the most unexpected people will send me bday sms-es and call me to wish me happy birthday?

why do people have expections on their birthdays.

fucking hate this year.

no zouk0ut

nope not at z0ukout.

upset.
no mood.

want to keep the promises.
want to go away.

upset.
want to go to the airport. but must keep my promise.

want to turn back time, have coffee at millenia, go to town to walk around and all. want to take neoprints again. dont want the goodbye part.

happy/unlucky december

ok. anyway my xray results came out clear, thank God!!!

so that was on friday.

guess what happened on saturday? i kenna some allergy, rashes. its still on me. been wearing jackets for a week. on sunday, sprained my ankle. fucking swear on black magic.

been missing the girls this week. seriously. never wanted to see them so much.

miss everyone.

just came back from zouk. some herst0ry party. met many friends.

bumped into J,
quite shocked shes now a HE. seriously.

anyaway.

can december not end?

spell surreal

spell surreal, the past week has been very surreal.

seeing danny come back after 3 years. or maybe 5 if you count that he left in 03 and ya its 5 years.

i didnt really hope or put too much in this time because i know ny is now his home, esp after communicating with E so much more these past few months. its really surreal. going out with my cousin and my sis and my bro last nite, talking about 'adult' stuff. life.. our grandparents, cousins and everything. really interesting and really outta this world.

i miss popo. i am really upset that i didnt get a chance to know gongong on a personal level becos i was only 7 months old when he passed away.. but from what i heard about him, i am sure i would love him as much as i love popo becos hes a great man who did everything he can for his family. has it already been 12 years? i still remember how popo looks like and her picture is just on my bedside table. i miss her voice, her smell, her everything. the talk last nite was good. about life.

so ya dan has been back since mon. i met him at the airport. he came over for dinner at home on mon night, we had dinner yesterday, gonna have dinner later, gonna have high tea on sat.. and then on mon hes leaving to bali for 5 days. and he'll be leaving to go home on sunday morning.

really surreal huh? its like.. i dunno.

i suddenly got super emo yesterday when i got outta the train and he was still in it, the whole watch thing. and the turn back thing. doors closing. train going away. its like as thou he's never left and yet i know hes leaving next sunday again. and the thing is that.. its xmas period. he left on xmas 03.

but i think i kinda grew up and my point now is, as long as he's happy, ny is home.. thats good. im happy for him and i'm really thinking of going over next year to visit. i wanna stay in their walk up, i wanna spend the weekend in the country, i wanna go to central park and read a book. i wanna do everything ny-ish. like so satc. but its just a show i know!!!!!

anyway, today i had to see a doctor cos i had to get an mc and im having realy bad cramps. so yadayada decided to tell doc about my cough since its been around for more than a month. so now the thing is, i need to go for an xray later in the afternoon. doctor suspects it might be bronchitis which might lead to pneumonia which is really quite serious. apparently my lungs are not clear now and its not looking good. and on top of that, doctor took my blood pressure and its too low and its good becos i am having cramps very often so there might be some cysts or sth so i have to see a gynae also.... see doctor to get mc one time, got so many problems....... damn upsetting.

anyway pray for me. im really afraid about the xray. the lung thing is in the family..

sigh.

december.

blah blah

i know ive not been updating for ages.
owell alot has been happening.
maybe not that much....

i dont upload pics here anymore so just check fb if u wanna see pics of everyone and my family.

went for f1 last friday with my sister =)
its been ages since we had 'personal' sister time.
its usually with the girls, my mom etc. and everytime even if we do have personal time, its not for a good reason.
but last friday was good.
met my sister, walked to f1.. had champagne, watched the f1 practice, totally not interested, left to go to her office.. watched the 2nd practice from the comfort of the top floor at milleniatowers, had dinner.. etc etc. =)

feels like im a kid all over again..

anyway went to ktv today. with the PIC and 2B1! haha.
do u know liangcourt has a new partyworld, and it looooooooooooks like.. a nightclub... in a way la. its quite funny..

anyway i bought a ds lite last week.
but i think im gonna give it to the girls soon.

IM SO NOT A GAMING PERSON!!!!!!!
i play like some games, and im like.. HUH SO BORING!! I'D RATHER BE READING A BOOK!!!!!
im serious. i know, im damn weird and boring. im seriously so so so not a gaming person. so owell, my loss, the girls gain. theyve been wanting a ds for sometime already.. and i guess in a way i bought it cos i know that when im bored with it, i'll pass it to them.... whats the craze about cooking mama, mario kart, brain game and all??

reach the max AND THEN WHAT??
PLAY ANOTHER GAME?????

anyway i dunno whether i should get the new ipod.
if i do, tash will get my new nano. which isnt very new la. its the last g one. the square-ish one. one the latest one.. but still.. see how!

i think im an old woman.
my bones are aching.

i need to exercise.
i am a fattybombom.

anyway i have to stop buying story books.
i am spending too much money at mph. if i combine the amt i spend in a month there.... i think i can buy a really nice pair of shoes... or maybe 2.. or maybe a nice bag.... or a really nice top....

so erm,
books vs material stuff.

how ar?

should i get an iphone? the only reason why i wanto get it, is becos the games that can be uploaded are damn fun!!!!!! but then again im so not a gaming person. if u ask me to play it on someones phone i can prolly entertain myself for like half an hour. but if its mine, i think im really not interested...

so tell me again after all that ive said...

why are humans only attracted to the unattainable?

memories

i should have taken note of every single thing that happened in the past ten years.

once in awhile when i see/read sth, i'll remember an incident and i hate it when i cannot remember it totally.

i wanna remember those lil moments that made me happy.

sorry

i found this bloglink from my bookmarks about an hour ago.

think i kinda left it there but ive never had the courage to read it or something.

sorry. i was a total bitch.
missed those times..

oh i was watching videos from ages ago in my com too.

damn funny!!
think i shouldnt upload them on fb cos so many pple will kill me!! hahahhaa.

the reason

the reason ive not been going to church is cos i dont wanto be a sunday christian.

i dont want to be all christian on sunday and then spend the rest of the week not doing what im supposed to do or rather doing what im not supposed to do.

i dont want to be one of those who goes to church on a sunday. serve, etc etc but in reality im hiding secrets cos they're not very nice. yes i know everyone has secrets but to do it in such close context is another issue.

aiya whatever..

happy is

happines is ur partnerincrime coming to look for u at work.

drinking many martinis.

after that meeting funny people.
and then meeting sinignore.

although the latter not supposed to be very happy but ok la im quite happy.

police coming at the back quite funny.

how can.

wednesday

yesteday was happy wednesday!


eat eat eat.

drink drink drink.

dblo, butter, zouk, bq.

walao.

many many funny pics!

happy sunday!

yesterday partnerincrime and 2become1 came to look for me! =) yay!

and then after that i went to balcony and laughed too much.

gonna bring the girls out this sat! can't wait!

justify

i need to get sin32 outta my system before it does more harm to me.

its seriously screwing up my mindset on things and i am doing things to get sin32 outta my system but not by the right way.

its very harmful and sinful.....

need to get it outta my system. fucking annoying.

need to go to ny for 2 months.

need to start saving money.

need to get away.

need to get far far away.

all i wanna do is

smoke. out.

i wanna smoke like 10 packs and die.

ive been feeling like crap lately.

cannot sleep. keep waking up every half an hour. thinking about stuff. dunno what also. feel like im super fucking up.

anyway today was another balcony day! haha with D and G. before that was bQ with dT and aQ and the person ive not seen for a year and a half. i dont like what was said, so frank.

growls.

na?

surreal

its a little surreal meeting someone you've not met for about a year and a half and he points out all the differences he realised. In a span of ten minutes. Not good stuff. Shit. What am i doing.

getting to know you.

was talking to my sis online this afternoon.

so ok...... i am gonna get to know someone from scratch. someone that is almost family. def family i'm sorry. =)

this is so exciting and scary!!!! its family! immediate family!!

hello E! i'm D!

We are the Ds,
you guys are the Es!

wheres my E! haha.

gosh!!

uhoh

wa cannot do this already. scared like mad.

sin left and i feel totally like sin.

so much for the tatt.

OUCH

did the coverup tatt just now...

fucking

p
a
i
n
f
u
l

but damn nice!

no fate ah!

on wed i went to zooooook a lil bit intoxicated but end up, had to take care of drunk people.

today, i drank quite abit. and then went to look for dTtTtT and the others, and had to take care of drunk people again..

what a week, babysitter when im like high.

high and dry.

HAHAHAH
kidding

what the??

it seems like everyone was at zouk last nite.

and drunk.

but me.

boring!

but i woke up to a nice happy msn msg so its ok! =) tomorrow night!

lovelove

just some pictures! check out the rest on fb!

cant wait for this sunday! doing my coveruptattoo and also PVD PVD PVD!!

omgomgomg

today was terence's lucky day cos he got to go out with the doubleDsandE. HAHA. kidding..

anyway the 3 of us decided to go to pl4y for fun and we laughed so much there. and anyway. i saw the like lubbbofmylife like 3 years ago there and im super like i dunno. grossed out and upset cos now her hair is longer den mine. how can like that??

toomuchredbull

had too much redbull last nite. 1 flaming and 4 jagerbombs in a span of 15 minutes. too much too much.

ended up crashing at clubbyuey cos i was too tired to go back.

now im still super sleeeeeeepy.

u know how cool tiongbahru plaza is now? damn happening lah.