spell surreal

spell surreal, the past week has been very surreal.

seeing danny come back after 3 years. or maybe 5 if you count that he left in 03 and ya its 5 years.

i didnt really hope or put too much in this time because i know ny is now his home, esp after communicating with E so much more these past few months. its really surreal. going out with my cousin and my sis and my bro last nite, talking about 'adult' stuff. life.. our grandparents, cousins and everything. really interesting and really outta this world.

i miss popo. i am really upset that i didnt get a chance to know gongong on a personal level becos i was only 7 months old when he passed away.. but from what i heard about him, i am sure i would love him as much as i love popo becos hes a great man who did everything he can for his family. has it already been 12 years? i still remember how popo looks like and her picture is just on my bedside table. i miss her voice, her smell, her everything. the talk last nite was good. about life.

so ya dan has been back since mon. i met him at the airport. he came over for dinner at home on mon night, we had dinner yesterday, gonna have dinner later, gonna have high tea on sat.. and then on mon hes leaving to bali for 5 days. and he'll be leaving to go home on sunday morning.

really surreal huh? its like.. i dunno.

i suddenly got super emo yesterday when i got outta the train and he was still in it, the whole watch thing. and the turn back thing. doors closing. train going away. its like as thou he's never left and yet i know hes leaving next sunday again. and the thing is that.. its xmas period. he left on xmas 03.

but i think i kinda grew up and my point now is, as long as he's happy, ny is home.. thats good. im happy for him and i'm really thinking of going over next year to visit. i wanna stay in their walk up, i wanna spend the weekend in the country, i wanna go to central park and read a book. i wanna do everything ny-ish. like so satc. but its just a show i know!!!!!

anyway, today i had to see a doctor cos i had to get an mc and im having realy bad cramps. so yadayada decided to tell doc about my cough since its been around for more than a month. so now the thing is, i need to go for an xray later in the afternoon. doctor suspects it might be bronchitis which might lead to pneumonia which is really quite serious. apparently my lungs are not clear now and its not looking good. and on top of that, doctor took my blood pressure and its too low and its good becos i am having cramps very often so there might be some cysts or sth so i have to see a gynae also.... see doctor to get mc one time, got so many problems....... damn upsetting.

anyway pray for me. im really afraid about the xray. the lung thing is in the family..

sigh.

december.